im drinking this country out of the recession.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
He? As in you personified your dick?
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Randomize