You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
