how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
