can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
