you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Randomize