he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
