PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
