Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Randomize
