Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
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