I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
