I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Randomize
