Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
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