super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
Randomize
