Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
