My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
from now on my penis is your penis
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Crop dusting thru forever 21
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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