Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
