i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Randomize
