he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
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