can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
