Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Randomize
