I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Randomize
