I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
