I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
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