No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
