i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
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