hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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