It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
