My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
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