So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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