i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
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