my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
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