Small penises have feelings too.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
I wish you could order shots online.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
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