If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
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