He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Randomize
