ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
Randomize
