actually, I'm a sock model
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Omg I joined a choir last night...
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
