non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
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