i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
