dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Randomize
