i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
This is my gift to your gina
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
