the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
you guys were way drunker than both of me
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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