I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Randomize