you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
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