listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
