I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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