Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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