Michael Bay diarrhea
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
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