just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
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