last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
