you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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