I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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