o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Sorry about my life...
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
