hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
I'm at about main and main street
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Randomize
